I noticed this elderly man about 75- 80 years old sitting on a bench near the shopping centre and he was sobbing his eyes out
When I went to lunch today, I noticed this elderly man about 75- 80 years old sitting on a bench near the shopping centre and he was sobbing his eyes out.
I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said: "I have a 22 year old wife at home.
She makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground brewed coffee!"
I said: 'Well, then why are you crying?"
He said, "She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, and then makes love to me half the afternoon."
I said: 'Well, so why are you crying?"
He said: "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m."
I said: "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
He said: "I can't remember where I live."
A very elderly but bright-eyed gentleman...
A very elderly but bright-eyed gentleman, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of after shave, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady tricked out in a modest but very becoming cocktail dress.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office...
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them £50.
This happened several weeks in a row - The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges £90. The Hilton charges £108. We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from BUPA!"
Walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch...
A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck - This is your Grandma's idea!"