Selection of Ten Jokes about Husbands & Wives - Part Two

Submitted by Inchcock

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Qusation: What is the best way to ensure that you remember your wife's birthday?

Answer: Forget it once!

Bert and Madge have been married for 60 years and still hold hands whenever they go out.

When Bert was asked about this, his reply was simple:
"When I let go, she's off shopping!"

My wife said that she would like to go somewhere where she had not been for a long time for her birthday.

"What about the kitchen" I cried!"

The bruise is going down now though!

A husband and wife are having an argument. " I do not hate your relatives, I tell you I prefer your in-laws to mine" he said.

My wife asked me the other day "How can I can rid of twelve pounds of really ugly fat?"

Jokingly I answered "Chop your head off!"

The divorce hearing is next week!

My wife told me the other day that she had a new job working in a bowling club.

"Tenpin?" I asked her.

"No, its' full-time" came her reply.

I went to the supermarket with my wife last week and bought some cheese from the deli.

She said to me "Ooh, I see you've bought some of that Armageddon

Puzzled I said to her "Why do you think I've bought Armageddon cheese"?

"Because it says 'Best Before the End' on the side of the packet of course!"

The definition of a happy husband!

Is a man who earns more per month than his wife can spend in a week!

A man tells another: I'm finally a "somebody".

"Why so, did you get a promotion?" said the other.

"No! Yesterday my wife yelled Somebody take the garbage out!"

When a man opens the car door for his wife, one thing is for sure.

Either the car is new, or the wife is!

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