Qusation: What is the best way to ensure that you remember your wife's birthday?
Answer: Forget it once!
Bert and Madge have been married for 60 years and still hold hands whenever they go out.
When Bert was asked about this, his reply was simple:
"When I let go, she's off shopping!"
My wife said that she would like to go somewhere where she had not been for a long time for her birthday.
"What about the kitchen" I cried!"
The bruise is going down now though!
A husband and wife are having an argument. " I do not hate your relatives, I tell you I prefer your in-laws to mine" he said.
My wife asked me the other day "How can I can rid of twelve pounds of really ugly fat?"
Jokingly I answered "Chop your head off!"
The divorce hearing is next week!
My wife told me the other day that she had a new job working in a bowling club.
"Tenpin?" I asked her.
"No, its' full-time" came her reply.
I went to the supermarket with my wife last week and bought some cheese from the deli.
She said to me "Ooh, I see you've bought some of that Armageddon
Puzzled I said to her "Why do you think I've bought Armageddon cheese"?
"Because it says 'Best Before the End' on the side of the packet of course!"
The definition of a happy husband!
Is a man who earns more per month than his wife can spend in a week!
A man tells another: I'm finally a "somebody".
"Why so, did you get a promotion?" said the other.
"No! Yesterday my wife yelled Somebody take the garbage out!"
When a man opens the car door for his wife, one thing is for sure.
Either the car is new, or the wife is!