Selection of Ten Jokes about Husbands & Wives - Part Two

Submitted by Inchcock

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

1)
Qusation: What is the best way to ensure that you remember your wife's birthday?

Answer: Forget it once!

2)
Bert and Madge have been married for 60 years and still hold hands whenever they go out.

When Bert was asked about this, his reply was simple:
"When I let go, she's off shopping!"

3)
My wife said that she would like to go somewhere where she had not been for a long time for her birthday.

"What about the kitchen" I cried!"

The bruise is going down now though!

4)
A husband and wife are having an argument. " I do not hate your relatives, I tell you I prefer your in-laws to mine" he said.

5)
My wife asked me the other day "How can I can rid of twelve pounds of really ugly fat?"

Jokingly I answered "Chop your head off!"

The divorce hearing is next week!

6)
My wife told me the other day that she had a new job working in a bowling club.

"Tenpin?" I asked her.

"No, its' full-time" came her reply.

7)
I went to the supermarket with my wife last week and bought some cheese from the deli.

She said to me "Ooh, I see you've bought some of that Armageddon
cheese".

Puzzled I said to her "Why do you think I've bought Armageddon cheese"?

"Because it says 'Best Before the End' on the side of the packet of course!"

8)
The definition of a happy husband!

Is a man who earns more per month than his wife can spend in a week!

9)
A man tells another: I'm finally a "somebody".

"Why so, did you get a promotion?" said the other.

"No! Yesterday my wife yelled Somebody take the garbage out!"

10)
When a man opens the car door for his wife, one thing is for sure.

Either the car is new, or the wife is!


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