~ Your kids are becoming you, and you don't like them. But your grandchildren are perfect!
~ Going out is good. Coming home is better!
~ When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now, you get discounts on everything: movies, hotels, flights, but you don't feel like going to the trouble.
~ You forget names, but it's OK because other people forgot they even know you!!!
~ The five pounds you wanted to lose is now fifteen and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the fifteen pounds.
~ You realise you're never going to be really good at anything, especially golf.
~ Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.
~ The things you cared to do, you don't care to do, but you care that you don't care to do them anymore.
~ Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep".
~ Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you have an accident!
~ You used to say, "I hope my kids get married." Now you say, "I hope they stay married!"
~ You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.
~ You remember when Google, iPod, email, modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.
~ You now use more four-letter words .."what?"…"when?"
~ Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
~ Your husband has a night out with the guys but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
~ You read 100 pages into a book before you realise you've already read it.
~ Everybody whispers.
~ Now that your husband has retired, you'd give anything if he'd find a job!
~You have three sizes of clothes in your closet …two of which you will never wear.
~ But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies and best of all, old friends - if you can remember who they are!