15 Excellent put-downs about famous women! - 3 of 4

Submitted by Inchcock

Thursday, 17 May 2012

15 Excellent put-downs about famous women! - Three

1)
Stewart Klein
When it comes to acting, Joan Rivers has the range of a wart.

2)
Sheila Johnson (about Madonna, 1987)
Armed with a wiggle and a Minnie Mouse squawk, she is coarse and charmless.

3)
Tom Shales (about Farrah Fawcett)
Maybe it's the hair. Maybe it's the teeth. Maybe it's the intellect. No, it's the hair.

4)
Michael Sragow
Jane Fonda coming back to the screen after a decade-and-a-half absence in Monster-in-Law is like Brando returning from the dead to star in a Police Academy movie.

5)
Peter Travers (about Paris Hilton)
Purists, be warned: This scare-flick quickie [House of Wax] has as much relation to the 1953 Vincent Price classic with the same title as Paris Hilton does to acting.

6)
Bette Davis (about Jayne Mansfield)
Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.

7)
David Niven (about Jayne Mansfield)
Miss United Dairies herself.

8)
Robin Williams
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

9)
Katherine Hepburn (about Sharon Stone)
It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs.

10)
Bosley Crowther (about Loretta Young)
Whatever it was that this actress never had, she still hasn't got it.

11)
Rita Mae Brown (about Martina Navratilova)
Martina was so far in the closet she was in danger of being a garment bag.

12)
Johnny Carson (about Roseanne Barr)
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

13)
Tom Hutchinson (about Sandra Bernhard)
She is as much fun as barbed wire.

14)
Oscar Levant (about Phyllis Diller)
I treasure every moment that I do not see her.

15)
Sandra Bernhard (about Madonna)
I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say about Schmadonna.


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