15 Excellent put-downs about famous women! - 2 of 4

Submitted by Inchcock

Thursday, 17 May 2012

15 Excellent put-downs about famous women! - Two

Joan Rivers (about Elizabeth Taylor)
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Michael Todd (about Elizabeth Taylor)
Every minute this broad spends outside of bed is a waste of time.

Henry Allen (about Lauren Bacall, 1994)
Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetised cocker spaniel.

Mr. Blackwell (about Brigitte Bardot, 1962)
A buxom milkmaid reminiscent of a cow wearing a girdle, and both have the same amount of acting talent.

Camille Paglia (about Drew Barrymore)
She's like an apple turnover that got crushed in a grocery bag on a hot day.

John Gielgud (about Ingrid Bergman)
She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them.

Dame Margaret Kendal (about Sarah Bernhardt)
A great actress, from the waist down.

Louella Parsons (about Joan Collins)
She looks like she combs her hair with an eggbeater.

Bette Davis (about Joan Crawford)
Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be close to her bladder.

Jeremy Novick (about Lolita Davidovich, Modern Review, 1994)
A kind of cross between Julia Roberts and Jack Nicholson.

Joan Rivers (about Bo Derek)
She turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.

George Bernard Shaw (about Isadora Duncan)
A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it.

David Shipman (about Marlene Dietrich)
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite sameness.

John Simon (about Shelley Duvall)
The worst and most homeliest thing to hit the screens since Liza Minelli.

Ava Gardner (about Mia Farrow's marriage to Frank Sinatra)
Hah! I always knew Frank would end up in bed with a boy!

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