15 Excellent put-downs about famous women! 1 of 4

Submitted by Inchcock

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Excellent put-downs about famous women

1)
Otto Friedrich (about Alice B. Toklas)
She was incredibly ugly, uglier than almost anyone I had ever met. A thin, withered creature, she sat hunched in her chair, in her heavy tweed suit and her thick lisle stockings, impregnable and indifferent. She had a huge nose, a dark mustache, and her dark-dyed hair was combed into absurd bangs over her forehead.

2)
Walter Matthau (to Barbra Streisand)
I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

3)
D. H. Lawrence (to Katherine Mansfield)
I loathe you. You revolt me stewing in your consumption . . . you are a loathsome reptile - I hope you die.

4)
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

5)
Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)
She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.

6)
Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)
She not only worships the golden calf, she barbecues it for lunch.

7)
Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)
The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.

8)
Bob Hope
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

9)
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

10)
Cecil Beaton (about Katherine Hepburn)
She has a face that belongs to the sea and the wind, with large rocking-horse nostrils and teeth that you just know bite an apple every day.

11)
Dorothy Parker (about Katherine Hepburn)
She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B.

12)
Barbara Stanwyck (about Marilyn Monroe)
Her body has gone to her head.

13)
Billy Wilder (about Marilyn Monroe)
She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.

14)
Otto Preminger (about Marilyn Monroe)
She's a vacuum with nipples.

15)
Mr. Blackwell (about Elizabeth Taylor)
Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick blanket.


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