A young archaeologist just out of school and on his first dig stumbled upon and unusual object buried in the sand deep in the heart of the pyramid. Hard, cylindrical, and about six inches long, it captured not only his attention, but his imagination. Dreaming of becoming famous for this fantastic discovery, he rushed back to his tent to pen a letter to the Smithsonian Institute to verify his find.
Believe I have found the petrified penis of a proud and passionate Persian prince.
For an endless and interminable six weeks young Albert waited for the answer to his prayers and dreams. Finally the missive from the Smithsonian arrived. Breathless with anticipation, our intrepid hero hastened to rip open the envelope and see his hopes soar to fruition.
Regret to inform you that you have not discovered the petrified penis of a proud and passionate Persian prince. What you have uncovered is the calcified crap of a cautious cat that crept into the crypt, crapped, and crept out. We have disposed of your sample appropriately.