One day Iain, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", Iain thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned Iain and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned Iain.
With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
Iain takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!!!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of whiskey?" she asks him.
Trembling Iain replies: "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"
With tears in his eyes, Iain falls to his knees and sobs:
"Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"