Definitions Dictionary for the Dyslexic

Submitted by Inchcock

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Antelope (v):
To run off with your mother's sister.

Assassination (n):
An arrangement to meet a donkey.

Baptist (n):
Junior hamburger chef.

Basket (n):
A short nap in the sun.

Circumstantial (n):
Circumcision on a really big baby.

Collonade (n):
Fizzy enema.

Defence (n):
Something to sit on for people who can't make up their minds.

Diarrhoea (n):
A very unattractive bottom.

Dictator (n):
Hilariously shaped, edible tuber.

Dipthong (v):
To wash a lady's undergarment.

Diversion (n):
Princess of Wales' version of the events that led to her divorce.

Dumpling (n):
Small lump of excrement.

Gastronome (n):
Small person prone to excess wind.

Harbinger (n):
Hard drinker.

Hatchet (n):
Small, bird droppings that fall from the sky.

Headband (n):
Top of the bill at a rock concert.

Hormone (n):
The sound a prostitute makes when she's not been paid.

Hobnob (n):
Cooking accident often suffered by nudists.

Homophobe (n):
Strong dislike of The Simpsons.

Honeydew (n:
Women who regularly arrives late for appointments.

Induction (n):
Induced labour in a duck.

Innuendo (n):
Italian suppository.

Intercontinental (n):
Person who has wet themselves all over the world.

Labiate (v):
Perform cunnilingus.

Laminate (v):
To artificially inseminate a sheep.

Limpet (n):
Male who has trouble getting an erection.

Lobster (n):
Colloquial term for a female who ejaculates during orgasm.

Mantrap (n):
Sexual favour used by women to obtain money from men.

Mastiff (n):
Mass erections induced by watching pornography.

Menopause (n):
Break in conversation to allow men to get a word in edgeways.

Minjita (n) (slang):
An Indian lesbian.

Misfit (n):
An attractive young woman.

Mislay (n):
A brazen or promiscuous young woman.

Morbific (n):
Excessively violent.

Multilingual (n):
Engaging in cunnilingus with multiple partners.

Negligent (n):

Make and model of a pre-war British luxury car.

Outage (n):
Process of exposing a Gay politician.

Portent (n):
The Millennium Dome.

Propaganda (n):
A wooden support for one-legged male geese.

Rapscallion (n):
Black, American spring onion.

Rectitude (n):
Precise angle at which a rectal thermometer should be inserted.

Reflex (v):
Renew wiring to an electrical appliance.

Restitution (n):
Sanatorium for lactating women.

Skulduggery (n):
Archaeological excavation.

Snuff box (n):
Slang term for a coffin.

Spade (n):
Small surgical tool for removing ovaries.

Testator (n):
A male who is constantly adjusting his genitalia.

Titillate (n):
Delayed onset of female puberty.

Titular (n & adj):
Busty woman.

Vagrant: (n):
Confused insect.

Willy-nilly (n):
Male who continually catches their penis in their zipper.

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