Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
The school headmaster has your number on speed-dial.
The cat is on Valium.
People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
"Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
Even the dog runs away when mail is posted through your letterbox!
1. Maxwell House, and Pepsi gives you industrial rates!