Ten Hitler Jokes (Warning includes crude ones)

Submitted by Inchcock

Friday, 23 March 2012

Be warned: Some of these jokes are crude and may be insulting. Please do not read if you are not ready for this.

1)
Three women - a German, a Jew and a Polack
(Warning includes crude ones)
Three women - a German, a Jew and a polack - all gave birth to seven pound baby boys at the same time.

The nurses got the babies mixed up somehow and couldn't tell which baby belonged to which mother.

After an hour of mass confusion the father of the German baby decided he would settle the problem.

He walked into the nursery and lined up the three infants in a row.

He then clicked his heels, raised his arm in a salute and shouted, "Heil Hitler!"

The German baby snapped to attention, the Jewish baby shit it's pants and the Polish baby played in it!

2)
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: The Jews sent him a gas bill!

3)
Q: What sweet did Hitler hate more than any other?
A: Jew Jew Beans……But I heard he enjoyed them roasted!

4)
Q: Have you heard about Hitler's new microwave oven?
A: It seats 500!

5)
Q: What was Adolf's favourite song?
A: "If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a kike!"

6)
Hitler was inspecting one of his camps...:

Hitler was inspecting one of his camps when he meets a little girl.

He asks the girl how old she is and she says, "I'm turning 10 tomorrow."

To which Hitler responds, "No you're not!"

7)
Thoughts on Hitler:

I'm not saying that Hitler didn't make some mistakes.

Fair enough he gassed six million Jews.

Tried to conquer Europe and planned to ethnically cleanse the world.

But my God he knew how to look after a moustache!

8)
BBC News: Can anyone control immigration?:

Well, the last bloke who tried it, shot himself in a bunker in 1945,

So I wouldn't bother if I was you!

9)
Did Hitler Kill Himself?:

I often wonder if Hitler did really commit suicide?

By all accounts, he didn't have the balls to do it


10)
Hitler walks past the long queue of Jews outside a gas chamber...:

Hitler walks past the long queue of jews outside a gas chamber, and calls asks a child inmate: "What do you wanna be, son?"

The boy replies: "Uh Oh... A footballer or a pilot. Yes!"

Hitler: "No no, I meant, Soap, or Leather Jacket!"


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