ADVERTISMENT

Submitted by Diogenes

Monday, 15 May 2006

ADVERTISEMENT

Do you feel out of touch, no longer able to understand current events,

troubled by half truths and lies? You are not alone. Discover how

thousands of people like yourself in Israel and Washington, D.C. have

learned to unlock the incredible POWER OF INSANITY!

We are now able to offer for a limited time only Dr. Blighter's powerful

book THE POWER OF INSANITY. It is packed with the kind of knowledge you will need for survival in the new millennium. This book is no fraud, but

is based on ancient secrets revealed by Dr. Blighter in the Old

Testament and the Talmud. You will learn through the thirteen jam-packed

chapters of THE POWER OF INSANITY:

-how to use modern buzzwords like “ad hominem”, "collateral damage", "kill for peace". and "cluster bombing" with ease and confidence.

-how to lapse into doublethink without effort.

-how to seize the moral high ground by becoming rabid, by calling up

justifiable, speechless rage, tears of compassion or tears of anger, to

tremble with emotion and to wear the square jaw of the unshakable

patriot, all in an instant.

-how to become rich by passing guilt and blame on to your friends and

enemies.

-how to think insane thoughts, bandy nuclear threats, flaunt reason and

levelheadedness, you will learn to trample logic with insanity.

-how to threaten, browbeat and extort whatever you want from whomever

you choose.

-how democratic laws and institutions support the insane.

-a useful glossary gives the new pronunciations for such key words as

Americah, teroris and jenaside.

- and much, much more.

During this special offer we will ship you not only the book, THE POWER

OF INSANITY, but we will include absolutely free a pair of INSANE

GLASSES and a POWER NOSE. These glasses come in our patented Kissinger Gravitas frames and have been designed to show you the world as if you were looking through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars. Not only will your friends and associates be intimidated by your giant new insane eyes, but with these INSANE GLASSES you will see the largest countries on the map diminished to so many Cubas, national deficits will seem insignificant and those around you will be indistinguishable from

vermin. The POWER NOSE, attached to the INSANE GLASSES, is crafted of sallow, East European plastic for maximum effectiveness. This large

POWER NOSE will gain respect from your friends and enemies alike and

make you instantly accepted in the corridors of power.

Yes, you can escape from the cares of reason, with your copy of THE

POWER OF INSANITY you will start meeting and identifying with the movers and shakers in media and politics. Don't hesitate, you don't need to be an outsider any longer than it takes to call our toll-free number 1-800

TOM-FOOL. [Sorry, gold or euros only, no dollars accepted at this time.]

Remember, no one can blame you if you’re insane!

“It’s the one book I didn't read”. Rep. Trafficante

“You don read it, you ain gon nowher”. Rev. Farrakan

B. A. Pelfman, Publisher

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more