A little Zen ... thoughts for people who take life too seriously
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Clones are people two.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple mortgage payments!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand ...
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Why do they sterilise needles for lethal injections?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
Search and ye shall find, does Not apply when looking for an honest politician!