Selection of 12 really bad jokes

Submitted by Inchcock

Saturday, 26 November 2011

When is a school paper not a school paper?

When it's turned into the teacher!

What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument?

A tuba toothpaste.

A man walks into a pub with a salmon under his arm.

He asks the barman, "Do you do fishcakes?"

The barman shakes his head.

"Shame", says the man, "It's his birthday".

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan!

I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?"

The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?"

I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I went to the local video shop and I said "Can I borrow Batman Forever?"

He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue."

I said "No, just a watch."

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel!

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.

I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue.

I couldn't put it down.

I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener.

I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana."

He said, "No, this is for the custard."

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