Q: How can you speed up the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid getting wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: No, seriously. How can I get rid of these crow's feet and all the wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It usually pulls them out.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they browse an antique store?
A: I remember these.
Q: Where can a man over 60 find a younger, good looking woman who is interested in him?
A: Try the bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a husband do when his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If he's handy with tools, he can finish the basement. Then when he's finished, he'll have a place to live.
Q: Why should 60+ people use valet parking?
A: The valet won't forget where he parked your car.
Q: Is it a common problem for 60+ year olds to have trouble with memory storage?
A: No. Memory storage is not the problem. Memory retrieval is.
Q: Do people sleep more soundly as they get older?
A: Yes, but it's usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should old people look for glasses?
A: First they should try their forehead.
