Words of Advice - 11 - 20

Submitted by Inchcock

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

11) Never buy a car you can't push.

12) Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

13) Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

14) The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

15) There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

16) There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die.' - Alistair J.R. Young

17) You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

18) Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school - you'll be working for them in the future.

19) Always assume politicians are lying - you'll never be wrong!

20) If you can come back from death, you'll can earn more from giving your story to the media, than J W Bush did from backhanders!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more