1) The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
2)To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
3) A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
4) If you're too open minded, your brains might fall out.
5) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
6) Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
7) Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
8) Drive carefully - It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
9) If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
8) If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
9) If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10) You are depressed when you realise that it may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.