Q: When lawyers die, why don't vultures eat them?
A: Even a vulture has taste.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand [cement]?
A: Not enough sand [cement].
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: Throw him a rock.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q. Why do lawyers display a copy of their bar association cards on their dashboards?
A. So they can park in handicapped zones; it's proof of a moral disability
Q. What do you call 1,000 lawyers, chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start
Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste, and California all the Lawyers?
A: New Jersey got first choice!!!
Q: Who do lawyers make look good?
A: Used car salesmen!
Collected from around the web's joke sites