A mixed bag of Baby Jokes

Submitted by Inchcock

Monday, 3 January 2011

Three men in a bar...
Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences.

The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"

"That's funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets"

The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the forty Thieves"!!!



Uncle?

I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or girl.

So I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.



Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.



The first twelve months...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!



Snake...
How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake or adult?
Ah, the baby one will have a rattle!

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