There I was is sitting in the bar, staring at my drink, when a trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all. I buy a drink, I drop in a capsule, and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then some jack-ass shows up and gulps down the whole thing!"
"But that's enough about me. How's your day going?"