The Pope - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Dear Diary-
I must confess that I am to blame for the scourge of pedophilia perpetrated by the predatory pack of perverted priests that's sweeping across the globe. But how was I to know that when I said, "Let us pray", they thought I meant, "Let us prey"?

Perhaps it was just wishful thinking on their part. Or maybe they figured that they were all going to pay for their sins in hell anyway so why not make it worth their while.

Whenever they hear those church bells ring they start salivating like Pavlov's dogs hot on the trail of every alter boy and Sunday school kid in sight. What possessed them to be so evil? All I know is they could save the church millions of dollars in legal settlements if they just screw the nuns instead, like I do.