The Pope - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 25 April 2019

Dear Diary,

I know that I have been taught to emulate God's mercy but sometimes it's hard to do. Sometimes, I just wish that I could forego mercy, just for one day, and act like a motherfucker. I wish that I could give my faithful flock a message of hard-heartedness. I would tell people to be judgemental, condemning and to imitate the wrath of the old testament father. God's mercy is pretty great, but when people have done terrible things to you, then it's okay to punch them in the face, and kick their asses out into the street, in much the same way that I did in my days as a bouncer, before I found my holy calling as God's faithful and humble servant. Don't get me wrong, diary, I'm all for the hippy half of the Bible, full of Christ's love and forgiveness, but sometimes the old testament authoritarianism of God the Father can feel pretty fucking good. I guess what I'm saying is that we're all human, and once in a while, diary, it's righteous to be a bastard. God bless you and God's love be with you diary. Amen!

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