The Pope - My Fake Diary

Monday, 16 June 2008

Dear Di-Di,

I had fun at the youth retreat today, and I even met a boy! His name is Stevie, he's an altar boy and he's 12! Granted I'm over 70, but love doesn't care who you love, but the law does.

I was sent away from Camp Jesus because I couldn't keep away from my new friend. I was all over him like a cheap suit as we sang "Kumbaya". When the counselors saw me kissing him, they said, "Mr. Ratzinger, you must leave. We cannot have you diddling our altar boys like that."

Stevie, who's a flaming little homosexual told them that we were in love and that we planned to adopt 5 little Zimbabwean orphans, but they didn't listen and sent me home anyway, but not before I got his cell phone number and e-mail address.

Gotta go, my phone's ringing. It's Stevie, I can tell because of the ringtone I put on for him, "Amor Prohibido" (Forbidden Love) by Selena.

Love you Di-Di,

Ratzie


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