Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Feeling restless again. After St. Kilda. Wolverhampton's fine, but it lacks a certain wilderness feel.I don't know why I took John Craven's advice to buy a semi in the Midlands.

Fond memories of so many homes. A six-foot dinghy in the Magellan Straits; a giant anthill in northern Borneo; inside a whale carcass on a Shetland beach. Happy times.

No wonder I can't settle in Wolverhampton. I need somewhere rugged, somewhere manly. I'm Ray Mears. I might call Kirsty and Phil. We could do a show: A Des Res for Ray.

Julia Bradbury's on Can't Cook, Won't Cook tonight. She's so my ideal woman - like me but more female.

Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more