Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Dear Diary,

Just caught a squid. Am I allowed to eat it? Don't remember reading that in the Koran the other day.

My companion is a coconut called Rihanna. Oh how I love her so. I heard on my Crystal set that she took her puppies out in a field in Ireland last week, how kind. But an infidel made her leave his land. He.. is the dog. When I'm next at the Pentagon, I'm going to speak with General Sexner and have him decapitated.

I have just received a pack of Edinburgh rock. It is Kosher so I suppose its alright for me, better than that Kendal mint cake, mint flavour..call that mint flavour. Better than fish.