Napoleon - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 18 October 2014

Oct 1804

Bonsoir,

I have just crowned myself Emperor in Rome...that fool of a Pope, who is, to quote your Anglais Shakespeare, entering his '7th Age' c'est '- à - dire, his Dotage ... Well ,he asked me who I was and whether or not I had cleaned the toilet and polished the family sherry glasses...Eh Bien

I can tell you, it took away from the GRAVITAS of the occasion...

Anyway , going on the premise that, if one wants something done properly, one must do it oneself, ie , touching the crown and applying it to the head , gently, as with French Sexual Practice, I achieved my POLITICAL CLIMAX...

My next strategy is to develop my meat- canning projects to provide sustenance for my troops, as they march into Russia...a project which , like Hitler , in years hence will be triumphant.

Of course, I am sure you Anglais will take my 'meat canning idea' and adapt it to an utterly naff idea like 'Fray Bentos and/or Spam , processed meat...Quelle Farce!

Buonaparte