Napoleon - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 18 October 2014

Oct 1804


I have just crowned myself Emperor in Rome...that fool of a Pope, who is, to quote your Anglais Shakespeare, entering his '7th Age' c'est '- à - dire, his Dotage ... Well ,he asked me who I was and whether or not I had cleaned the toilet and polished the family sherry glasses...Eh Bien

I can tell you, it took away from the GRAVITAS of the occasion...

Anyway , going on the premise that, if one wants something done properly, one must do it oneself, ie , touching the crown and applying it to the head , gently, as with French Sexual Practice, I achieved my POLITICAL CLIMAX...

My next strategy is to develop my meat- canning projects to provide sustenance for my troops, as they march into Russia...a project which , like Hitler , in years hence will be triumphant.

Of course, I am sure you Anglais will take my 'meat canning idea' and adapt it to an utterly naff idea like 'Fray Bentos and/or Spam , processed meat...Quelle Farce!


Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more