Mini Me - My Fake Diary

Monday, 11 May 2009

I can't decide whether or not I like my height. Maybe I'd better make a list:

Good Stuff:

1. I get a face full of muff everywhere I go, but...
2. I can generally pay kid's prices at the buffet, but....
3. I get all these wonderful acting jobs, but...
4. Lot's of women will put out to me because they want the "midget experience," but....
5. My clothes take less cloth, so are always cheaper, but...
6. I can generally sneak into movies in a big crowd, but...

Bad Stuff:

1. Farts hit me full face in elevators and crowds.
2. I can't reach the buffet.
3. I suck so bad at acting, no one would hire me if I wasn't short.
4. No one ever calls back because I've only got a one inch penis.
5. The only underwear I can buy has Batman on it.
6. I can't see over the top of the seat in front of me.

There's lots more I could list (maybe tomorrow). Right now, I've got to take a dump. I'd better go to the garage and get a ladder so I can climb up onto the toilet.