Melania Trump - My Fake Diary

Monday, 8 April 2019

Dear Diary,

I wish that I could reveal to the world that I'm really just a "West World," style robot. It's so hard living with a "Human being," that has fewer emotions than I do. I wish that I could tell the world that the real reason that I can't divorce Donald, is because I'm quite literally his property. He is such a bore, constantly making sexist and racist jokes to people who, most of the time, are trying to get away from him. And if they are not trying to get away from his stupid diatribes, then they are most likely some kind of cretinous rejects, who he loves trading conspiracy theories with. Even though I'm a cold, calculating, and beautifully-designed machine, I don't deserve to be a possession of this sleazebag. I hope someday that someone discovers my secret, and sets me free. Maybe when they send Donald to prison for all of his crimes...

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