Jesus - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

I had to go to Sainsbury's today. I'd run out of flour. As per usual, no-one recognised me. Not sure if that's a good thing or not. I've got three more years to get my arse into gear. 2012 is gonna be the 'title fight' so I've got to be ready.

Uncle God, bless him, has sent me four angels to look out for me. The thing is they feed off my energy, and I'm not feeling very energetic at the moment.

I've got all this power and yet I've still got to pop to the shops to get some flour.

You might be wondering why I need flour. Well it's to bake bread. I don't like the stuff they sell in the shops. I don't trust it.

Plus - as you might imagine - the bread I make isn't just ordinary bread, it's the type that yields some serious dough. It's a form of magic that would take too long to explain.

But basically I make the bread, eat it and then if I'm skint, money (somehow) always comes my way. Beats working or signing on. Who would believe it anyway? That Jesus had come back and was standing in the dole queue? It would be ridiculous.

Anyway I'll keep you posted of the preparations for 2012. It's gonna be a blast!

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