Hillary Clinton - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

January 28 Diary Entry - Current To Do List

Set up Skype conference call for negotiating Presidential Run with Lucifer.

Send Hit Squad to 'off' Sean Smith's Mom.

Eradicate all pre-9/11/12 emails and delete texts from Ambassador C. Stevens, R.I.P.

Benghazi?!? What's a Benghazi?!?

Place Hit Squad on Special Alert about pissed-off current and former Seals.

Update Bubba's "Bimbo List." Engage Arkansas Goon Squad to dig up crap on new Bimbos!

Order increase in saltpeter dosage in Bubba's diet salad plate.

Renew 'hit' contract on G. Flowers --- get a better Hit Squad prior to campaign kickoff.

Order twenty new pairs of pants suits from Humongous Sail Crafters, Ltd., Gloucester, MA…

Review and update Enemies List---Rate Huckabee a 10, Palin an 11, & Christie a 350++.

Place story with Washington Post regarding Ann Coulter's ongoing affair with Sasquatch.

Bury or Burn (finally!) the rest of Vince Foster's undershorts.

Secure those photos of Barack and Pelosi conjoined in Washington Federal safe deposit box along with Rules for Radicals.

Get Goon Squad to recover video of Emma Goldman birthday party romp from Rosie O'Donnell.

Write love & XXXX notes to "Hanoi" Jane (smirk…) & "Butch" Ellen (sigh…). Thank them for a stimulating time & esp. for new toys.

Send personalized 8X10 glossy to Oprah along with 50 pounds of Whitman's chocolates.

Locate and shred remaining Whitewater docs and Rose Law Firm overbilling statements.

Kick Bubba in the balls whenever possible.

Benghazi?!? What's a Benghazi?!? --- Record over and over for repetitive playing at night.

Kick Bubba repeatedly in the balls whenever possible.