Donald Trump - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 5 March 2017

I just had to wake up today in the Lincoln Bedroom and do what I do every day--yell for the Secret Service man that stands guard outside my door.

I yell "Who's the President?" at who ever it is and they answer back, "You are, sir!"

Which is reassuring, because every morning when I weak in a cold sweat after screaming all night in my dreams, I never am sure if it's really happening.