David Hasselhoff - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 30 April 2003

Hi all,

This is my first Diary entry, and I'm excited to be a part of a wonderful organisation. Much better than the Knight Foundation. Christ, that Devon is such a prick. He's so damned....British. I swear to you he spends most of his time watching "rowing" on television when he should be out designing new cars for me. And he keeps complimenting me on my "bottom". It's "ass", Devon, not "bottom". Jeez.

I'm being a bit of a bitch today, I'm just not in the mood for all this "saving people's lives" kind of crap at the moment. As I was saying to Kitt, it seems to me that half the people I save deserve to be where they are. Take Melissa, the girl I saved yesterday - her husband works for a casino famous for being a money laundering scam, and when he got kidnapped she wanted me to wade in there. I did, I saved her husband, and then the stupid girl went and got herself kidnapped! Ugh! I despair, sometimes, I really do. And I was saying all this to Kitt. He's such a trooper.

Anyway, I'm going to go and wash and wax my hair. I might also find some Germans to sing to.

Keep it real.

Michael Knight.