David Hasselhoff - My Fake Diary

Monday, 8 February 2010

Dear Diary,

Nagini found the radioactive dogs before I did. Now I'm watching from a wooded hill overlooking Hogsmeade as Nagini wreaks havoc on the little town. I'm standing with a bunch of Hogsmeade refugees and, get this, every time we speak, not only do our mouths not move in sync with the sound but now there's subtitles.

Yes, subtitles.
Oh, and I found out that I can jump wicked high, run on walls, break bricks with my bare hands, and I've got some MAD kung fu/sword fighting moves.

Nagini seems to be having a grand time with the ensuing chaos down in town. Yeah she's...
Oh no no no no.

I gotta go. The village bartender brought his goat up on this hill and Nagini's seen it. She's coming right for us!

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