David Beckham - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Deer dairy, well, wot dya fink. Arv just 'ad sum speach phewapy clases wiv Ozzy the Osborn and a lo' o' flimmin' gud it did me.

A cudn't understand a werd 'e sed. And 'e kept askin' me if A wonted a burito. A gave in wons and told 'im "Ye' OK". Ternd owt to be a flipping pill didn' i'.

Poor Sharon. She was a swee'art. She 'as sum kyoot dogs but they keep poo'ing everywere in the 'ouse and she don't even care. She just walks 'round i'.

Arv desided to ge' sumwon els to 'elp me wiv me speech. Arm gettin' Grame Nor'on. 'E told me las' tarm we wer torkin' tha' 'ed like to teach me a fing or too so arv set up a mee'ing wive 'im for next Choosday.

Ozzy sed Grame's a 'shir' lifter' bu' I don't even no wot one is.
Arl give i' a go anyway.

Bye bye dairy, yoo are the only won I can tork too thees dayz.