Carla Bruni - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Sunday, November 7, 2010.

Voilà! It's Sunday. I can finally have a day off; shave my legs, dye the hair on my upper lip (Hey, I'm Italian remember!!), and just relax. The Husband, Monsieur le President, is busy putting together a new government, so I can do my own thing - like shave my legs ...

I did something this week which I thought I would never have to do. We had the Chinese President Hu Jintao here on a shopping trip - shopping for him, big 'you like/you buy?' for us.

And do you know what, dear Diary?

I had to eat an e-n-t-i-r-e meal with sticks.

The Husband says I must not say sticks. I must say chopsticks. But believe me there was no chop done with the sticks I had to eat with, because, I ask you, can one chop with a stick? Anyway, Eureka! I managed not to stick the stick up Madame Hu Jintao's nose while I was eating. But - and this is just between you and me - I did drop a pea (petit pois) down my Chanel décolleté, but to my astonishment (and delight - oh la la!) Monsieur le President had enough spark left in him after the dinner to retrieve it.

I was wondering what gift Hu Jintao and his wife were going to give me. By the way, the gifts from visiting heads of state, is the best part of being Premiere Dame de France.

I was just hoping that it would not be a book. Because you see, I already have a book. The Pope sent me one last month when The Husband went to see him.

And so what was I going to do with another book?

Must just tell you that the Pope's book had some nice pictures in it of men in robes and sandals and a naked baby lying in a crib in a stable, so I tore out the pages and lined the drawers of my boudoir cupboards.

Fortunately, the Chinese couple did not give me a book.

They gave me, what they said was Ming's vase. Ming? Who the heck is Ming?

What's more, I'm curious to know what she'd used it for because it's stained on the inside. Something yellow. You don't think …? No, they would not have dared!

Next week I'm off to Seoul with The Husband. Seoul? Never heard of it.


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