Boris Johnson - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 19 May 2012

Today I faced calls to deal with Romanian beggars who have been sleeping rough yards from Marble Arch.

A group of more than 50 have been seen around Mayfair and Park Lane, with witnesses complaining of urination in the street and knifepoint robbery. Organised gangs are thought to be behind the problem, transporting coach-loads of Romanians into the country in the run-up to the Olympics with instructions to work pre-allocated "pitches" as beggars, pickpockets and prostitutes.

What next? Will they want me to tackle the Lithuanian shop lifting gangs? The Polish illegal fag producers?, the Russian poisoned Vodka importers? The Jamaican drug gangs? Illegal immigration?

I suppose they will!