Barack Obama - My Fake Diary
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Dear Diary -
Well I beat Old Mittens Romney and I beat him good. A lot of the polls had him ahead of me up to the day before the elections, but we all know that most of the polls are run by Republican millionaires.
These GOP polls failed to ask for the opinions of the middle class, the elderly, and the poor.
And now my opponent Mitt Romney will fade off into the Republican sunset and think about the fact that one, he should not have written off 47 percent of the American people like he did. Two, he should have shown the citizens of the United States his income tax statements from 2007 to 2010. And three, he should never, ever have threatened to get rid of that American institution Big Bird.
My name is Barack Obama and I approve this message.