Barack Obama - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

You know, I can appreciate the interest in fostering good relations with our foreign partners and allies, but do we have to completely cater to their dietary requirements too? I mean, it was great to hold a state dinner for India's prime minister, but did everything have to be vegetarian?

Not that I'm suggesting that the man be forced to eat a cheeseburger, we had salad after all, but give the American President a little dead flesh, right off the grill, you know what I mean?

Michelle was a trooper, choking down the vegetables, sucking up the yogurt, doing whatever it took to make a good impression, but an hour into the formal meal and I had to excuse myself and head back to the white house kitchen. Thank God, the chef was waiting for me with an Italian sausage and extra red sauce.

When I got back the Prime Minister weanted to know why I smelled of Pork and Fennel. I told him it was a new kind of breath mint we had here in the States. Whew. That was close. US/India relations ruined over pork sausage.

During the ball following dinner, the dance floor began to take on a pretty interesting smell. With so many good Americans not used to vegetarian diets or the gastronomical side effects, you might say that the winds on the dance floor had truly changed.

My secret service guys were all over that situation though. I raised my arm in the air and made a twirling motion and overhead fans powered up to take the smell away. Good thing too, because Michelle was stinking up the place. She looked good but smelled like the dead ass of a Rhinoceros.

Party over, everybody went home, back to the residence. Not before stopping at the kitched for a hot dog to go. Michelle took three.

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