Barack Obama - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 7 February 2009

Dear Diary,

I'm a little pissed, to say the least. Trying to get the senate to agree to my latest diktat is proving more difficult than I thought. They are talking it down from 900 billion to 720 or so.

I was going to do so many good things, and create so many more jobs. Now, the impact of my Stimulus Bill is going to be diluted somewhat.

Gone are the jobs that would have been created, buying smoke alarms (2) Gone are the jobs that would have been created in buying Tasers (2) See? Already, that's FOUR more American citizens on Welfare! Crazy!

I have been left with little to do while they filibuster and flannel away, locked in the conference room under the west wing staircase.

Luckily, the movers delivered the rest of the boxes today. I have finally got my Lego Technics kit, and so I've been busy building a model of the Moon Buggy for when I make my journey to the moon next year. I figure I can't go until then, because I will be sorting out the crisis here on Earth.

Michelle says I should wear the Captain Kirk outfit she got me for Christmas, but I think I'm gonna stick to the Superman outfit (with the three-piece-suit over the top) It's my original plan and this time, it ain't time for changin'

Lionel Ritchie has said that he's 'gonna think some' about my offer to him to join the Administration as Chief of Soul. That Bro' can help me in the next part of the plan. Janet Jackson, wearing her Superbowl outfit to stand behind me as I speak.

The press came to see me today. I asked one of my aides why.. He said it was time for me to give my Presidential Address. I stood up before the assembled reporters and cameramen.

"1600 Pennsylvania, Washington DC" I said.