Barack Obama - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Shit! The funniest thing happened in the Oval Office today. As I said the other day, one of my favourite trix has been to stand up suddenly - even in the middle of a sentence, to make everyone else in the room stand up too. All the Marines have to snap to attention.

I did it today and one of the Marines snapped to attention a little too quickly and trapped one of his balls. Gotta hand it to the guy though - he never made a sound. Just bent at the waist slightly, while a single tear ran down his cheek.

The car came back from the trickin' shop today. Phat! 200w of BOSE system, 24" Chrome wheels with spinners, zebraskin upholstery. Home Run!

Michelle and me christened the Oval Office this afternoon. Dubya told me that every prez has done it. Cured my "bein' a l'il too quick" if ya feel me - I just kept thinkin of Ronnie and Nancy.

Heard a good one today. Y'know how the jokes circulate.

Goes somethin' like this -

And now, a message from the President of the United States of America.

Hello, this is Barack Obama.

Would all white people please report to the cotton fields. Tomorrow. 5am.

Just about choked on my beans an' rice.

Thinking about appointing Lionel Ritchie to some position or other. Bro has soul!



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