Barack Obama - My Fake Diary
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Thought about it some, spoke to a few senators and decided that, as far as my diary goes, it ain't time for no change. I'm The Man now!
The first coupla days in the Oval Office have been a blast. I keep pretending to get up from the chair, just to see everyone else leap up, Marines start saluting - the whole 9 yards! That shit's gonna make me laugh every time for the next four years!
Chief of Staff is a little pissed cos I got rid of the big rug - you know - the one with the Seal of The President of The United States of America stuff all over it. Fuck! How dumb would ya have to be? Go to DC, 1600 Penn, past all the security checks and all the way to the Oval Office and what? You need a rug to tell you where you are? Get outta here! I put a little zebra skin sucker there - goes well with the lava lamps and the disco ball. I think it will boost the ratings for my monthly Address to The Nation show.
Clearing up the mess left behind by Dubya is going to be more difficult than I first thought. The first time I sat at the Big Desk, I felt pretty proud, I gotta tell ya. I ran my fingers along the edges of that polished wood and thought - "Barack, you've done it!"
Then I found Bush's legacy. A vast collection of dried up boogers under the desk. That some Skanky Texan MoFo!
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