Barack Obama - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Dear Diary,

Shit! It's been nearly two fuckin' weeks since I last wrote. I bin so busy!

I had a half-day on Christmas morning for just me an' my homies. I got so many presents from so many people. Bill Clinton gave me Alabamba. Lets see what those KKK motherfuckers make of that!

I had a quick meeting with the decorators this afternoon. They put the order in for the zebra skin rugs and the elephant tusk gong supports that I wanted, but Michelle says I'm just gonna look like a wannabee Mugabe. Guess she's right.

Speaking of Mugabe, one of the first things I'm gonna do when the old Texan shifts his butt outta my house is call up that mofo. Dude's givin' a brother a bad name with all that Cholera shit! No Jivin'!

I tol' him - If'n you had oil, you'da bin hangin' in a cave with Obama - Shit! - Osama (they got ME doin' it now!)

I saw Dubya on the tube today, gettin his ass outta my Limo. Dude is such a Straight - know what I mean? First thing on the list is to Pimp that Mother - 22" chrome rims an' Spinners, twin Aerials on the back - (I might get those fiberglass ones - let's see them Secret Service men Jivin' alongside me, not just Joggin')

I was kinda frustrated at not bein' in the big chair yet but Dubya seems to be takin' all the flak over the Financial mess. Shit! Let him stay for a coupla weeks mo'.

I'm hittin' Hawaii and strikin' up a Big One!.

Surf's Up Dude!

See Y'all Soon.

Keep it Real

Peace Out