Arsene Wenger - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Dear Diary,

I am standing out here in the freezing cold feeling like a complete homme stupide. Luckily I get good 3G reception outside the pub.

I was supposed to be meeting Cesc for a drink, to talk over our future. He told me all about how Pep Guardiola propositioned him. I am very conflicted and don't know what to think.

I could leave him another message on his voicemail, but there is only so much humiliation a man can take.

I feel like such a tit. Anyway, I will not allow myself to get too bothered by this. If he thinks I cannot pick up a 16 year-old from some school playground to take his place in the midfield he obviously does not know Arsene Wenger. I can show every last ungrateful one of them the door and the win the league with our under 16's side. I may just do that.

Anyway, I don't think he's coming. I'm going home. will let you know what I decide when I can.

Yours faithfully my treasured diary

Arsene Wenger (OBE)