Adolf Hitler - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Dear Diary-
Sitting here tonight by the fireplace with a bottle of schnapps and a good cigar, safe and secure in this underground bunker listening to the muffled sound of bombs and guns emanating from far up above. I feel nostalgic for the good old days back in Austria with my bosom buddy Sigmund. Everything I am today I owe to him. I was a filthy bum living in the streets until he took me in and gave me a life. Even my brain was dirty until he washed it.

I miss the fun games we played wearing that funny long-sleeved jacket with both arms strapped behind my back, and bouncing around the room with the soft walls without a care in the world. Those were the days. And Freud was my lover. The best thing he taught me was how to suck dick by practicing with a cigar -habits that I still enjoy to this day.