Adolf Hitler - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 4 April 2019

Dear Diary,

The war is lost, and the Russians are coming. Eva is dead and I'm about ready to follow her. I wish that we had had sex, instead of just looking at her sitting there in the nude in my bedroom. I wish that I had eaten meat. I wish that I had smoked. I wish that I hadn't sat around the bunker over the past few days; watching the German Shepherds having sex. I wish that I had gone to more of Herman Goering's secret cross-dressing parties. I wish that I had taken some of his "Pills", when he offered them to me on the plane... In short, I wish I had done a lot of things; mainly I wish I had passed on this whole, "dictator thing," to be honest, it made me very unhappy. Oh well, the end is near, and I guess that I'll go and shoot myself now. Take care diary, I hope that you fair better than I did.

Regretfully Yours,

Adolph Hitler