Paris, France - Art critics and curators alike were shocked today after discovering that the priceless work "Le Pont d'Argenteuil" was not only punched in the Orsay Museum early today but also was found to have done nothing to defend itself.
The painting hung from the wall and failed to retaliate as a member of a group punched the painting in an unprovoked manner.
French Culture Minister Christine Albanel was appalled by the inaction of the painting. "For a bully to come in and strike unprovoked and have no response is a black eye on French culture. This does nothing but intensify the stereotype that the French people are not able to defend themselves through their actions or even their art.
"People think of us and think "nation of pussies". We have done our best to promote strong pieces of art that can take care of themselves in confrontation. We're now hoping to bring in the work of H.R. Gieger to help counter this action. That work kicks ass like a motherfucker.
"This is the worst case of art cowardliness since we had the Edvard Munch's exhibit. 'The Scream' in particular did nothing, the pussy. And I've never seen a creation of the Madonna that was so chickenshit in my life. It's been shocking."
Claude Monet, the creator of the painting, was unavailable for comment, assumed embarrassed.