WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a concerted effort to show his dedication to the ideal of bipartisanship, President-elect Barack Obama will be naming several well-known, high-profile Republicans to positions in his administration.
An Obama insider has revealed to Valerie Whitwinkle of The Washington Morning Examiner-Tribune that president-elect Obama has formed a 'Special Internal Committee' (SIC) to concentrate solely on putting high profile anti-Obama news celebrities, such as those found on the Fox News Network in ambassador positions.
The insider, identified only by the initials, R.A. said that the first ambassadorship will be going to Sean Hannity of the Fox News show 'Hannity and Combs.' Mr. Hannity will become the U.S. ambassador to Iraq and will have an apartment in Baghdad located next to The Bush Twins International Airport.
Also to be named to overseas posts are Bill O'Reilly who will be the US ambassador to Afghanistan, Rush Limbaugh who will serve as the ambassador to North Korea, and Brit Hume who will become the American ambassador to Venezuela.
The 'Special Internal Committee' has made it very clear that all of the newly-appointed ambassadors will be on their way to their respective new overseas positions by 4 am the morning after the inagural festivities.
Other key ambassador positions will be filled by Megyn Kelly, who will be the new ambassador to Somalia and who will be temporarily staying at the local YWCA just until her apartment is completely renovated due to the extensive damaged inflicted by the Taliban bombing back on September 27.
Another ambassador post will go to Glenn Beck who will be traveling to his new ambassadorship postion in Ethiopia. There Mr. Beck will live in a two-story apartment located next to The National Ethiopian Home for Retired Vine Makers and Zebra Poachers.
But perhaps the one ambassadorship slot that the 'Special Internal Committee' is most proud of filling is the ambassador to the North Pole. This job will be filled by Ann Coulter, a 46-year-old political commentator and stauch GOP supporter.
Ms. Coulter has the dubious distinction of having been named, by no less than 283 US newspapers as 'The Most Hated Female in The History of Hating.'
An insider reported that he could hear resonating shrills of jubilant laughter, unbridled frivolity, and championship cheering coming out of the 'Special Internal Committee's' meeting when Ann Coulter's name was first mentioned for her new job.
In related news, Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News will soon be announcing the replacements for Hannity, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Hume, Kelly, and Beck.
Reported to be high on his list are Arianna Huffington, James Carville, Katie Couric, Bill Clinton, Chris Rock, and Barbra Streisand.
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Initially, the 'Special Internal Committee' had voted unanimously to appoint Ann Coulter as the US Ambassador to the planet Jupiter. But unfortunately the tremendous cost of the rocket ship would have been way out of line considering the sad state of the American economy.)