Strange occurrences this evening in a back garden on Britain's south coast, as a man, apparently somewhat intoxicated, and all covered in nasty stuff, staged a one man demonstration in his back garden.
Spoof writer, Skoob1999, yelled over his back fence to a couple of bored local news hacks that somebody named Martin Shuttlecock is innocent, and that he hasn't done anything wrong.
At least, not in a while.
Reports indicate that Skoob had made a hurriedly prepared, and somewhat makeshift banner, bearing the legend
LITTLECOCK IS INNOCENT OK!
And then proceeded to stage a one man civil rights demonstration in his own back garden, where nobody could see him on account of the six foot wooden fence, which effectively separated him from public view.
Reports indicate that shortly after the onset of the spontaneous demo, the bored local press men heard a whack, followed closely by a groan. Then, as they invaded Skoob's back garden, they discovered that he was somewhat inebriated, and appeared to have fallen over and cracked his seemingly impenetrable skull on the patio.
Apparently in some kind of drunken furore.
A semi conscious, and somewhat battered about the napper, Skoob, told the bored reporters, as his eye swelled up rapidly:
"This is for Littlecock! God bless him! The man's a fuggin saint! Did I say Littlecock? I meant Shuttlecock...he's me best mate he is. And I won't stand by and see him abused! I won't! He gets enough of that off his wife, and apparently he's been having a word in Pele's ear about erectile dysfunction. Apparently Pele advised him to roll it in off the far post, whatever that means...Fucking hell, I feel sick...Fucking hell... Could you just go away?"
More as we get it...