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Tuesday, 2 December 2003

image for Kurt Russell & Crowe: Ending a Road
"A Daring Caravan Awaits"

HOLLYWOOD - These two superstars have made a public pact: to stop making films and start exploiting them. After realizing how many more millions they would never receive in distribution costs, they vowed never to create, and to only distort, terrorize and bastardize the entertainment industry from now on.

Several reported fans did not seem too disturbed by the announcement of this departure, and could also be seen laughing wildly as the former actor spoke.

Retiring in his prime, Russell Crowe, 38, seems not at all too sad that he will be vacant from adoring fans and hearty projects such as 'Gladiator.' "I anticipate greater wealth and prosperity from the illegal pioneerable universe and galaxy then could ever be unimaginable here within this naturally."

The self-designated 'brothers' decided to tap in to a dark aspect of film-making/film-theft when through the recent advertisements trying to hype up a respect for copyrights, enticed them to look in to this business as a frank possibility.

They have spent millions of dollars to buy in to the movie piracy business, and they are expected to do very well; enough that the stock may be eventually made public by the end of 2005.

Kurt Russell was unavailable for comment at the time this story was printed but has allowed Crowe VP, to speak publicly on behalf of Kurtrussellcroweinc Inc.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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