Written by ArtismyName
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Tuesday, 11 November 2003

Hollywood, California. Die Hard Celebrity Bruce Willis expressed his froustrations to sources, for not yet being the butt of an uncarefully crafted high-budget prank by his ex wife's boyfriend Ashton K (the host of MTV's hit show Punk'd).

According to Willis, the only reason he didn't crush Ashton's skull in a swift action-packed fit of rage when he discovered the 22year old was porking his ex wife and defeating the grand-funk dragon on level nine with his children. Was because he thought the whole thing was just a part of the most ellaborate episode of Punk'd ever. "I mean I was in Die Hard for Christs' Sake, There is even a videogame with my face on the box ! How could this have been anything but a hoax ? !"

Sources close to Willis say, that he has become increasingly irritable, as the realization of what has actually happened to him sinks in. He's going through a midlife crisis of sorts, on the one hand his wife took the kids and left to be with some hotshot young poopstink, and on the other hand his celebrity clout has become so pathetically insignificant, that his wife took the kids and left him for some hotshot young poopstink.

Keep your head up Bruce, at least u still got a full head of hair...well, at least u still got some hair...on the sides n stuff, i guess the rest of the world will just have to use whatever strands you got on left on the sides as a template to visualize what the rest of that bald noggin should look like, so they can truly appreciate the grandure of your fall from grace. So keep your head up, but not too high because you might blind someone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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